I don’t really feel like writing a learning journal this week. Not because I haven’t learned anything, but because there is a lot of it that I don’t think I can communicate or things that I know readers will not be able to understand. But, here I go anyways. . .

It is true that you never really know how much you care about someone or something until it is gone. Many times I have had to learn this the hard way. But does it always have to be that way? Can I learn to grasp my affection and care in the present instead of being flooded with regrets in the future? I am beginning to think in some ways this is possible. It will be very hard, but not unobtainable. I am realizing that I tend to get too caught up in the future and the unknowns and I miss out on the present. This is such a bad habit. I mean it is healthy to live with a long term perspective to an extent, but I cannot allow that perspective to cloud what I have right here and right now. For me this is simply being thankful for all that I have (and in some cases don’t have), for living with inextinguishable passion, embracing hardship, loving those who surround me, smiling, and the list goes on. I know, I know you are probably thinking about how cheesy and corny I always sound, but it’s just the way that I make connections in life. And simple realizations like that make my life make more sense.

I find it frustrating and hard to learn and have motivation to learn when people around me do not want to learn. It’s easier to move forward when there is support along with you or people with the same (or a similar) goal and focuses. And when this is absent I tend to lose motivation and the goals that I once had set. It is a bad habit to get into, because as humans we are not fully dependable and I need to come to terms with the fact that I can’t let my learning be fully dependent on others. Does that make sense? Of course, my learning will be enhanced and enriched with people moving in similar directions as me. I have been notching this happening to an extent in Truth in Society and what makes this harder is that we are getting close to presenting our research to the rest of the class and there are many who just aren’t doing that. And they have that choice, but it makes it hard for us who are making something of an effort. Shoot, I did not mean to get into a rant so I will stop. BUT. . .I am learning how to learn for the pleasure of gaining knowledge and insight and not just a grade in red ink.

Oh and did I mention that there are virtually no books published on Somalia pirates? I know, it was expected as it is such a current topic and issue. However, I have been able to find quite few resourceful and insightful academic articles. I am becoming more familiar with EBSCO and the library search engines to find such articles. Coming across ‘useful’ information on our groups topic is a little tricky, but I have learned quite a bit about Somalia government (or lack thereof). I will admit that ‘pirates’ seemed to be a strange topic to puruse. However, I am understaning that we are using pirates as a venue to delve into much deeper subjects. And it all comes back to how do people come to believe what they do. What do Somalia pirates choose to do what they do/How does their mindset shift? Does government style and power affect its people? I am interested to see where my research leads to next. . .

CHEERS!

JOURNEY

“Love is not a fight, but it is something worth fighting for”. Those are lyrics from a song that seems to have found new meaning in my life. I know it may seem random to begin my learning journal with these words, but they have challenged me and taught me a lot in the past few weeks. I think my perception of love was slightly skewed, not shallow, just a little off track. When people say the word ‘love’ we automatically assume romantic love-or at least I do. But it is so much more than that. Love is a verb. It is an action and it is a choice. Even when situations in life are less than ideal we have to make the choice to love people or let the situations get the best of us. I am learning that all of the people who are closest to me and the little girl who lives on the street by herself and all those in between deserve my love. Not in a mushy way, but with humility and selfless giving. I am so far from perfection in this area, but I am being so challenged to make love a choice and not just an empty feeling.

On a completely other note, but maybe not so far removed, I can finally use the F drive! I think a sicker may be in order. I did not actually have too much difficulty with it, but I am feeling much more comfortable with that system, along with researching. I thought I would never quite catch on to all of our professors tricks (which I haven’t), but I think I am at least a baby step closer. I was getting a frustrated with how little useful information I was finding, but slowly I think I am improving on how and where I locate useful information. Our professors have been very patient with helping me with all of this and also my fellow ‘Truth in Society-iers’ have been so helpful in sharing what works and what does not work for them. The profs also challenged us to continue making our work and our reports more professional. I am finding that it is the little things and ‘simple’ things that make our work seem more professional- minor things (that are not minor at all) such as including our names, full citations, in-text citations, etc. This is so simple, but effective.

We had another slight ‘confrontation’ in the class, if you could call it that. And I must say that there is some drama boiling to the top of the class. I am glad that it is surfacing and I really hope that we have all learned from it and can move on from it to a new level of learning and also respect for one another.

Oh, and did I mention that I am excited about the direction that our Inquires are taking? I was so confused about what the final outcome of this work would be and now that I have a better understanding I seem to have more motivation to actually do all of the work and do it well. I guess that alone taught me that asking questions and questioning the process that the profs are leading us in is okay and needed in our journey to amazing discoveries.

PS. I have a new appreciation for many of my class mates after the formal on the weekend. They are some of the greatest people in life and they all keep me going and grounded in some way. Cheers!

I Just Wasn't Ready

“I have learned that there is no point to give an answer to a question that hasn’t been asked yet. People are will hear only what they are ready to hear.” Those were the words (or something along those lines) of Russ Hunt in class yesterday. I have heard Russ say that before and I guess I just considered it to be academic ramble. Turns out, I was not able to understand what he was saying because I was not ready to hear what he was saying. This may sound so simple, but for me it served as a small turning point in my life and the way I perceive learning. Let’s just say it took me a while to reach this point! I have felt torn the past few weeks in Truth in Society class because there are students who are keeping an open mind to the professors, the teaching style, the topics we are researching, etc. And then there are those who are quite the opposite and seem to bash everything we do as soon as we leave the class. Some days I just feel like ripping my hair out. Personally, during high school I often questioned and wondered why we were ‘marked’ and assessed in certain ways and why the emphasis was put on a grade rather than how we reach certain points of understanding and interests. So, as soon as I heard about the Aquinas program I knew I had found my opportunity to learn in a less conservative way. I have had to force myself at many times to keep striving to learn and deepen my knowledge eve if it may seem ludicrous on the surface. There have been many people questioning the professors and how they are teaching us. I won’t lie; there are days when I have my doubts as well. But seriously, like think about it. This program has been running for almost twenty years and our profs are all very qualified. So, although many times I don’t understand the direction that we as a class are taking I trust that the professors are pointing us in the right direction and they are also giving us freedom to lead ourselves. I was glad that Justin spoke up yesterday; I was not feeling all of the things he was. However, I think it was important that someone finally just addressed concerns or questions that they had instead of just complaining outside of class. There were areas of the class such as marking, learning reflections, etc that were still unclear to me and now I finally have a better understanding of them. So thanks for speaking up Justin.

I am getting ticked at how some people continue to question everything we do. WE ARE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE. We are at a liberal arts school so it is more than expected that classes, marking, teaching methods, etc will be different. And I say bring it on. Don’t you find it refreshing, I do! Finally, I have the chance to learn and be taught in a manner that is more ‘real life’. In four years or so we will be graduated and in the ‘real world’ we will hopefully be working and marks will no longer be our motivation for working. We will have other motivations; one of the most important will probably be how people respond to our work. Truth in Society is preparing me for that. Yeah, it is new and different, but it is real and we are benefiting in ways that we cannot understand yet.

I am gaining more appreciation for our professors and their patience with me and our whole class. I am a slow learner, so thanks for coming to my level and asking me to step up. Challenges are so healthy for me. I used to think I was a decent researcher. HAHAHAHAHA. Not so much! I am so thankful that we have and are being taught how to conduct more academic research. It makes a big difference to know to research a topic from beginning to end. I still have a long way to go. But I am glad that even something as simple as using the resources the library offers is becoming easier for me.

All Together Again

It was strange being back with all of our three classes being combined into one. I was really growing to like the diversity of having the three disciplines taught separately, but I also enjoy the ‘group’ aspect of Truth in Society as well. I was curious to know what we were going to be researching or focussing on for the next few weeks. I would have never guessed it would be pirates! I was very surprised when the prompt asked us to ink shed about all that we knew about pirates. I guess this caught me off guard simply because when I think pirates I generally think Disney and fiction. However, as the week went on I quickly realized that the world of pirates is a realistic and mysterious place. I am excited to be looking deep into many questions and topics that relate to pirates/piracy.

This week though, I think the biggest eye opener for me was attending the Mark Hennick lecture. Man, I was not expecting that level of emotion or honesty that he displayed. I admire his courage for being able to share such personal experiences with so many people. That puts him in a vulnerable position, but he gained a lot of respect from me personally. It is amazing that he is using his experiences and his past experiences to make a change. He is proof that hope and second chances exist.

I found it funny when Thom came into class yesterday and told us that we are lousy researchers. It is true, but he was super blunt about it and got right to the point-which I prefer anyways. I am glad that the professors took the time to show us how do quality research and where to begin the process. I get really overwhelmed with the mass amounts of information available to us and I usually get lost and very frustrated in the process of researching. The foundation that they provided us with is proving to be very helpful and useful as I delve into a world of pirates.

Can I Ask You a Question?

When Michael Camp assigned us our ‘turning point’ story assignment I really did not think that it was a big deal. I figured that I would be challenged academically a bit, but that would be it. Man was I wrong. I love how this assignment once again proved to me that learning does not only happen in the class or by reading or writing. Learning is an ongoing process if you are allowing your mind to be open and allow it to shift frames and perspectives.

I was partnered with Stephanie and that in itself was amazing for me. Timing is such a beautiful thing, well at least it has been in my life. During the time of our interview there were quite a few personal issues that sprung up out of nowhere in my life and I was stuck in moments of confusion, unknown, and resentment. We all go through these times I think. In the midst of trying to make some sense of my mess I sat down with Stephanie for our interview. I am glad that I recorded her as she spoke and answered my questions, because I was consumed in all that she was saying. Her story mirrored a bit of what I was experiencing, and her ‘ending’ or more appropriately her new beginning at the end of the dark tunnel really gave me a kick in the butt. Perseverance is so important. And as she interviewed me and I told her about experiences from Rwanda and my passion for that place I felt like I was back there. It brought back a lot of emotions, but allowed me to reconnect in a way with something that is so close to me.

Okay, I am going to start off by talking about my stupidity! On Tuesday, in Religious Studies, we all brought our reports that we wrote about Nacirema. I am sure that you know where I am going with this, because I know that there were many of us in the same situation with this one! It was funny, because as I was reading the text I immediately thought, ‘wow, there are so many parallels between this tribe and North America life.’ I now understand why I saw these parallels. I skimmed the Wikipedia site, but I obviously did not take enough time to really understand what it was saying. That in itself was a lesson. I need to be more careful and thorough while reading. I also came to the realization that maybe it is not really a matter of stupidity and embarrassment. It proved to me that sometimes I am not ready to make a connection or view my lifestyle through a different lense. However, I now find this very intriguing. I had obviously never heard of Nacirema previous to this, but I unintentionally learned a lot from the activity.

Also, journalism class makes me happy. I know I sound like a little kid, but I love the way Michael Camp makes it so simplistic for us. The work and classes are not ‘simple’ so to speak, but the way he gets us to view writing and understand what great journalism writing looks like is very straightforward, I guess. I have assumed that, to be an effective writer, big words and fancy sentence structures were required. It came as a great relief to me when I found out that, in many cases, the opposite is quite true! I had a really inspiring time as well when I interviewed Stephanie. Her openness and honesty were, to me, a sign that she trusted me with her story. This meant a lot and now I am more motivated to do her turning point story justice. I have learned a lot about her, and in turn I have also learned a lot about myself.

Russ made a point yesterday regarding the repetition of “Doubt” as a part of our learning. I have really tried to keep an open mind to everything we have been doing and, for the most part, I have. I find that with previous ways that I have been taught and encouraged to learn I have never been asked to spend so much time with one piece of writing. Thus, I have been questioning if I will reach a point when I start to shut down to this. This is not my intension, more of a habit and a bad one at that. I am finding it hard to keep gaining new perspective about doubt in life and so on. But be patient, I am working on it.

A Shaken Brain

I have come to the realization that my learning journals seem to be a bit shallow. It is as though I am trying to make them be more professional than they need to be. So when I began to read all of the other learning journals I felt like I was freed from perfection and I feel more liberated to write more honestly (not to sound too cheesy!). Truth in Society has really taken my brain and given it a good shake and now there is more room for more information and perspectives in different places. I guess it is a mixture of the class style, our courses, the professors of course, and our many different learning assignments. I think a lot of us in the class were really unsure of why there was so much repetition and vagueness in the course. I was very confused with why we were spending so much time on “Doubt.” To me, it seemed silly and slightly annoying at first. Then I had a moment of enlightenment and I realized that I need to be way more open. I was so set in the teaching methods and class styles of high school that I was closing my eyes and mind to a much needed change. I think I am FINALLY beginning to be more aware of the fact that learning is a process and involves numerous stages. So I am trying to be more patient and understanding both in and out of the class.

I really loved listening to Michael Higgins speak this morning. People like him fascinate me because I am almost positive I could ask him anything and he could answer it in an educated way. He made a point this morning that has allowed me to look at the play in yet another way (I didn’t think that was even possible). He mentioned that in the 1960’s if you were a nun it provided you as a woman with power, authority, status and so on. I always had the impression, or maybe stereotype, that the reverse was true. Yet, now that I consider this it does make sense and I think Sister Aloysius is more reasonable maybe in the way she handles the situation. She already had power, so her accusations against Father Flynn weren’t because she was power hungry. I do believe that she was serving as the protector of those in her care. Her intention was not to hurt Father Flynn- well at least in my opinion.

There are a few other blog postings that have caught my attention or helped me think in new ways I guess. I will only point out a few though. First Khairunnisa made one statement that rings true within me. She said “This class has made me realize of how ignorant I am sometimes.” This for me has been true. Yes, there have been moments when I question what in the heck we are doing, but it always manages to lead somewhere and I always some out learning more and thinking differently than I began. Journalism has really made me think about what I consider not only important, but why I consider it important. This lesson ties in with all of our discussions on “Doubt.”

Justin also wrote in his blog and discussed in class this “Can a boy, not be curious about what it is to be a man. Is it wrong for a boy to ask questions? To seek knowledge, much like a man seeks it from an elderly. In my mind, I have difficulties with doubt. A man may want to harm a boy, because he seeks bad things. But another man may seek to help a boy, in order to be a mentor to that boy. Bad men are everywhere, and they appear in many places, so how does a man help a boy without suffering judgement from others.” He also asked a very important question to the extent of if a woman has alone time with a girl student why this is accepted as opposed to a male teacher and a male student. This is something that I am still considering and questioning.

I guess that is all for now. Believe me, I could keep going, but for everyone’s sanity I will now shut up. There have been some really great discussions and lectures on so many subjects all of which are making me ask important questions and reconsider previous beliefs and opinions that I had.