I don’t really feel like writing a learning journal this week. Not because I haven’t learned anything, but because there is a lot of it that I don’t think I can communicate or things that I know readers will not be able to understand. But, here I go anyways. . .

It is true that you never really know how much you care about someone or something until it is gone. Many times I have had to learn this the hard way. But does it always have to be that way? Can I learn to grasp my affection and care in the present instead of being flooded with regrets in the future? I am beginning to think in some ways this is possible. It will be very hard, but not unobtainable. I am realizing that I tend to get too caught up in the future and the unknowns and I miss out on the present. This is such a bad habit. I mean it is healthy to live with a long term perspective to an extent, but I cannot allow that perspective to cloud what I have right here and right now. For me this is simply being thankful for all that I have (and in some cases don’t have), for living with inextinguishable passion, embracing hardship, loving those who surround me, smiling, and the list goes on. I know, I know you are probably thinking about how cheesy and corny I always sound, but it’s just the way that I make connections in life. And simple realizations like that make my life make more sense.

I find it frustrating and hard to learn and have motivation to learn when people around me do not want to learn. It’s easier to move forward when there is support along with you or people with the same (or a similar) goal and focuses. And when this is absent I tend to lose motivation and the goals that I once had set. It is a bad habit to get into, because as humans we are not fully dependable and I need to come to terms with the fact that I can’t let my learning be fully dependent on others. Does that make sense? Of course, my learning will be enhanced and enriched with people moving in similar directions as me. I have been notching this happening to an extent in Truth in Society and what makes this harder is that we are getting close to presenting our research to the rest of the class and there are many who just aren’t doing that. And they have that choice, but it makes it hard for us who are making something of an effort. Shoot, I did not mean to get into a rant so I will stop. BUT. . .I am learning how to learn for the pleasure of gaining knowledge and insight and not just a grade in red ink.

Oh and did I mention that there are virtually no books published on Somalia pirates? I know, it was expected as it is such a current topic and issue. However, I have been able to find quite few resourceful and insightful academic articles. I am becoming more familiar with EBSCO and the library search engines to find such articles. Coming across ‘useful’ information on our groups topic is a little tricky, but I have learned quite a bit about Somalia government (or lack thereof). I will admit that ‘pirates’ seemed to be a strange topic to puruse. However, I am understaning that we are using pirates as a venue to delve into much deeper subjects. And it all comes back to how do people come to believe what they do. What do Somalia pirates choose to do what they do/How does their mindset shift? Does government style and power affect its people? I am interested to see where my research leads to next. . .

CHEERS!

JOURNEY

“Love is not a fight, but it is something worth fighting for”. Those are lyrics from a song that seems to have found new meaning in my life. I know it may seem random to begin my learning journal with these words, but they have challenged me and taught me a lot in the past few weeks. I think my perception of love was slightly skewed, not shallow, just a little off track. When people say the word ‘love’ we automatically assume romantic love-or at least I do. But it is so much more than that. Love is a verb. It is an action and it is a choice. Even when situations in life are less than ideal we have to make the choice to love people or let the situations get the best of us. I am learning that all of the people who are closest to me and the little girl who lives on the street by herself and all those in between deserve my love. Not in a mushy way, but with humility and selfless giving. I am so far from perfection in this area, but I am being so challenged to make love a choice and not just an empty feeling.

On a completely other note, but maybe not so far removed, I can finally use the F drive! I think a sicker may be in order. I did not actually have too much difficulty with it, but I am feeling much more comfortable with that system, along with researching. I thought I would never quite catch on to all of our professors tricks (which I haven’t), but I think I am at least a baby step closer. I was getting a frustrated with how little useful information I was finding, but slowly I think I am improving on how and where I locate useful information. Our professors have been very patient with helping me with all of this and also my fellow ‘Truth in Society-iers’ have been so helpful in sharing what works and what does not work for them. The profs also challenged us to continue making our work and our reports more professional. I am finding that it is the little things and ‘simple’ things that make our work seem more professional- minor things (that are not minor at all) such as including our names, full citations, in-text citations, etc. This is so simple, but effective.

We had another slight ‘confrontation’ in the class, if you could call it that. And I must say that there is some drama boiling to the top of the class. I am glad that it is surfacing and I really hope that we have all learned from it and can move on from it to a new level of learning and also respect for one another.

Oh, and did I mention that I am excited about the direction that our Inquires are taking? I was so confused about what the final outcome of this work would be and now that I have a better understanding I seem to have more motivation to actually do all of the work and do it well. I guess that alone taught me that asking questions and questioning the process that the profs are leading us in is okay and needed in our journey to amazing discoveries.

PS. I have a new appreciation for many of my class mates after the formal on the weekend. They are some of the greatest people in life and they all keep me going and grounded in some way. Cheers!

I Just Wasn't Ready

“I have learned that there is no point to give an answer to a question that hasn’t been asked yet. People are will hear only what they are ready to hear.” Those were the words (or something along those lines) of Russ Hunt in class yesterday. I have heard Russ say that before and I guess I just considered it to be academic ramble. Turns out, I was not able to understand what he was saying because I was not ready to hear what he was saying. This may sound so simple, but for me it served as a small turning point in my life and the way I perceive learning. Let’s just say it took me a while to reach this point! I have felt torn the past few weeks in Truth in Society class because there are students who are keeping an open mind to the professors, the teaching style, the topics we are researching, etc. And then there are those who are quite the opposite and seem to bash everything we do as soon as we leave the class. Some days I just feel like ripping my hair out. Personally, during high school I often questioned and wondered why we were ‘marked’ and assessed in certain ways and why the emphasis was put on a grade rather than how we reach certain points of understanding and interests. So, as soon as I heard about the Aquinas program I knew I had found my opportunity to learn in a less conservative way. I have had to force myself at many times to keep striving to learn and deepen my knowledge eve if it may seem ludicrous on the surface. There have been many people questioning the professors and how they are teaching us. I won’t lie; there are days when I have my doubts as well. But seriously, like think about it. This program has been running for almost twenty years and our profs are all very qualified. So, although many times I don’t understand the direction that we as a class are taking I trust that the professors are pointing us in the right direction and they are also giving us freedom to lead ourselves. I was glad that Justin spoke up yesterday; I was not feeling all of the things he was. However, I think it was important that someone finally just addressed concerns or questions that they had instead of just complaining outside of class. There were areas of the class such as marking, learning reflections, etc that were still unclear to me and now I finally have a better understanding of them. So thanks for speaking up Justin.

I am getting ticked at how some people continue to question everything we do. WE ARE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE. We are at a liberal arts school so it is more than expected that classes, marking, teaching methods, etc will be different. And I say bring it on. Don’t you find it refreshing, I do! Finally, I have the chance to learn and be taught in a manner that is more ‘real life’. In four years or so we will be graduated and in the ‘real world’ we will hopefully be working and marks will no longer be our motivation for working. We will have other motivations; one of the most important will probably be how people respond to our work. Truth in Society is preparing me for that. Yeah, it is new and different, but it is real and we are benefiting in ways that we cannot understand yet.

I am gaining more appreciation for our professors and their patience with me and our whole class. I am a slow learner, so thanks for coming to my level and asking me to step up. Challenges are so healthy for me. I used to think I was a decent researcher. HAHAHAHAHA. Not so much! I am so thankful that we have and are being taught how to conduct more academic research. It makes a big difference to know to research a topic from beginning to end. I still have a long way to go. But I am glad that even something as simple as using the resources the library offers is becoming easier for me.

All Together Again

It was strange being back with all of our three classes being combined into one. I was really growing to like the diversity of having the three disciplines taught separately, but I also enjoy the ‘group’ aspect of Truth in Society as well. I was curious to know what we were going to be researching or focussing on for the next few weeks. I would have never guessed it would be pirates! I was very surprised when the prompt asked us to ink shed about all that we knew about pirates. I guess this caught me off guard simply because when I think pirates I generally think Disney and fiction. However, as the week went on I quickly realized that the world of pirates is a realistic and mysterious place. I am excited to be looking deep into many questions and topics that relate to pirates/piracy.

This week though, I think the biggest eye opener for me was attending the Mark Hennick lecture. Man, I was not expecting that level of emotion or honesty that he displayed. I admire his courage for being able to share such personal experiences with so many people. That puts him in a vulnerable position, but he gained a lot of respect from me personally. It is amazing that he is using his experiences and his past experiences to make a change. He is proof that hope and second chances exist.

I found it funny when Thom came into class yesterday and told us that we are lousy researchers. It is true, but he was super blunt about it and got right to the point-which I prefer anyways. I am glad that the professors took the time to show us how do quality research and where to begin the process. I get really overwhelmed with the mass amounts of information available to us and I usually get lost and very frustrated in the process of researching. The foundation that they provided us with is proving to be very helpful and useful as I delve into a world of pirates.

Can I Ask You a Question?

When Michael Camp assigned us our ‘turning point’ story assignment I really did not think that it was a big deal. I figured that I would be challenged academically a bit, but that would be it. Man was I wrong. I love how this assignment once again proved to me that learning does not only happen in the class or by reading or writing. Learning is an ongoing process if you are allowing your mind to be open and allow it to shift frames and perspectives.

I was partnered with Stephanie and that in itself was amazing for me. Timing is such a beautiful thing, well at least it has been in my life. During the time of our interview there were quite a few personal issues that sprung up out of nowhere in my life and I was stuck in moments of confusion, unknown, and resentment. We all go through these times I think. In the midst of trying to make some sense of my mess I sat down with Stephanie for our interview. I am glad that I recorded her as she spoke and answered my questions, because I was consumed in all that she was saying. Her story mirrored a bit of what I was experiencing, and her ‘ending’ or more appropriately her new beginning at the end of the dark tunnel really gave me a kick in the butt. Perseverance is so important. And as she interviewed me and I told her about experiences from Rwanda and my passion for that place I felt like I was back there. It brought back a lot of emotions, but allowed me to reconnect in a way with something that is so close to me.

Okay, I am going to start off by talking about my stupidity! On Tuesday, in Religious Studies, we all brought our reports that we wrote about Nacirema. I am sure that you know where I am going with this, because I know that there were many of us in the same situation with this one! It was funny, because as I was reading the text I immediately thought, ‘wow, there are so many parallels between this tribe and North America life.’ I now understand why I saw these parallels. I skimmed the Wikipedia site, but I obviously did not take enough time to really understand what it was saying. That in itself was a lesson. I need to be more careful and thorough while reading. I also came to the realization that maybe it is not really a matter of stupidity and embarrassment. It proved to me that sometimes I am not ready to make a connection or view my lifestyle through a different lense. However, I now find this very intriguing. I had obviously never heard of Nacirema previous to this, but I unintentionally learned a lot from the activity.

Also, journalism class makes me happy. I know I sound like a little kid, but I love the way Michael Camp makes it so simplistic for us. The work and classes are not ‘simple’ so to speak, but the way he gets us to view writing and understand what great journalism writing looks like is very straightforward, I guess. I have assumed that, to be an effective writer, big words and fancy sentence structures were required. It came as a great relief to me when I found out that, in many cases, the opposite is quite true! I had a really inspiring time as well when I interviewed Stephanie. Her openness and honesty were, to me, a sign that she trusted me with her story. This meant a lot and now I am more motivated to do her turning point story justice. I have learned a lot about her, and in turn I have also learned a lot about myself.

Russ made a point yesterday regarding the repetition of “Doubt” as a part of our learning. I have really tried to keep an open mind to everything we have been doing and, for the most part, I have. I find that with previous ways that I have been taught and encouraged to learn I have never been asked to spend so much time with one piece of writing. Thus, I have been questioning if I will reach a point when I start to shut down to this. This is not my intension, more of a habit and a bad one at that. I am finding it hard to keep gaining new perspective about doubt in life and so on. But be patient, I am working on it.

A Shaken Brain

I have come to the realization that my learning journals seem to be a bit shallow. It is as though I am trying to make them be more professional than they need to be. So when I began to read all of the other learning journals I felt like I was freed from perfection and I feel more liberated to write more honestly (not to sound too cheesy!). Truth in Society has really taken my brain and given it a good shake and now there is more room for more information and perspectives in different places. I guess it is a mixture of the class style, our courses, the professors of course, and our many different learning assignments. I think a lot of us in the class were really unsure of why there was so much repetition and vagueness in the course. I was very confused with why we were spending so much time on “Doubt.” To me, it seemed silly and slightly annoying at first. Then I had a moment of enlightenment and I realized that I need to be way more open. I was so set in the teaching methods and class styles of high school that I was closing my eyes and mind to a much needed change. I think I am FINALLY beginning to be more aware of the fact that learning is a process and involves numerous stages. So I am trying to be more patient and understanding both in and out of the class.

I really loved listening to Michael Higgins speak this morning. People like him fascinate me because I am almost positive I could ask him anything and he could answer it in an educated way. He made a point this morning that has allowed me to look at the play in yet another way (I didn’t think that was even possible). He mentioned that in the 1960’s if you were a nun it provided you as a woman with power, authority, status and so on. I always had the impression, or maybe stereotype, that the reverse was true. Yet, now that I consider this it does make sense and I think Sister Aloysius is more reasonable maybe in the way she handles the situation. She already had power, so her accusations against Father Flynn weren’t because she was power hungry. I do believe that she was serving as the protector of those in her care. Her intention was not to hurt Father Flynn- well at least in my opinion.

There are a few other blog postings that have caught my attention or helped me think in new ways I guess. I will only point out a few though. First Khairunnisa made one statement that rings true within me. She said “This class has made me realize of how ignorant I am sometimes.” This for me has been true. Yes, there have been moments when I question what in the heck we are doing, but it always manages to lead somewhere and I always some out learning more and thinking differently than I began. Journalism has really made me think about what I consider not only important, but why I consider it important. This lesson ties in with all of our discussions on “Doubt.”

Justin also wrote in his blog and discussed in class this “Can a boy, not be curious about what it is to be a man. Is it wrong for a boy to ask questions? To seek knowledge, much like a man seeks it from an elderly. In my mind, I have difficulties with doubt. A man may want to harm a boy, because he seeks bad things. But another man may seek to help a boy, in order to be a mentor to that boy. Bad men are everywhere, and they appear in many places, so how does a man help a boy without suffering judgement from others.” He also asked a very important question to the extent of if a woman has alone time with a girl student why this is accepted as opposed to a male teacher and a male student. This is something that I am still considering and questioning.

I guess that is all for now. Believe me, I could keep going, but for everyone’s sanity I will now shut up. There have been some really great discussions and lectures on so many subjects all of which are making me ask important questions and reconsider previous beliefs and opinions that I had.

A Few Thoughts

I am finally beginning to gain more appreciation for the Aquinas program and the way in which it functions. Now that we are learning in our specific disciplines I am definitely thinking more and being more open to new ideas and thoughts all around. Journalism has surprised me in a great way. I was not sure what to expect from that specific class, but thus far, it is the course that is really opening my eyes to so many issues and topics that I need to be aware of. Also, it has broadened my perspective of what journalism actually is and the huge role that journalists play within our world. I am a naturally curious person and I feel that journalism will be a huge aid in helping me understanding how to channel that curiosity in a way that will actually benefit myself and others as well. I have a passion for being a voice for individuals who do not have a voice and I am realizing that journalism may be one way to pursue this passion. This past week I was able to attend the Michael Harris lecture which turned out to be a occasion and speech to listen to. I find it fresh to hear a story from the perspective of someone who truly cares about the specific story and has personal experience with it. I know that I have mentioned this before, but I am really glad that in all three classes and with all three professors I am being challenged to be a more critical thinker and articulator. I am finding it difficult at times to communicate what I am thinking through words and on paper, but this is a skill that I know will become sharper as the year progresses.

Doubt; a good thing?

This past week has been refreshing for me as we were able to split into our separate disciplines within the Truth in Society class and focus ob the individual courses. I do look forward to meeting in our large groups, but I think this change will be good as it will allow us to do some deeper learning. The Aquinas program is not what I had imagined it to be, as I mentioned a few times previously. It is however making me look into issues that I may generally ignore and ask questions that I have never considered before. I was getting overwhelmed at the work we were asked to do as a class. Not because it was a lot, but because it was so new to me and required me to actually think outside of my opinions. The occasions have proved to be extremely worthwhile, well at least for me. In particular, “Doubt” was amazing. I felt like I was a part of the play because the actors and actresses did such professional and incredible job at becoming their character in every way possible. I have always had a love for theatre, and this show is probably one of the best I have seen in regards to the level of acting and the story line itself. The play raised some interesting points and had some great themes that I think may help us get closer to an answer of what truth is.

Information Overload!

Information is always at our fingertips and it comes in unfathomable quantities. This has potential to be a great help to us, but in some ways the overload of information makes fact searching slightly overwhelming. When we were asked to find articles about a topic that matters to us I thought that we would do one activity with them and that would be it. I was so wrong. It was only the beginning and I found myself questioning our professors (in my mind) on their decision to get us to do so much work with one piece of writing. I did not see what direction they were going with the tasks they were presenting to us. I now have more insight into what intentions were/are. It makes so much sense that they are asking us to question what we assume to be truth and factual and to get us to search beyond our current knowledge of a subject to a new place of learning. The methods that we have learned to effective researching have proved to be very helpful to me in all of my courses.

Michael Camp made a comment that has really stuck with me and it has seemed to crack open my mind to the many possibilities that surround all situations. When we were discussing genocide it was apparent that many of us had some preconceived opinions about genocide, etc. He asked a question to the extent of ‘what makes genocide worse than war?’ I am not sure why, but that one question seemed to resonate within me and I realised that I need to ask such questions (controversial, unthought of, etc) of other situations. His question seemed to get my mind to work in a more diverse way. I know it probably sounds ‘weird’ but it is all a part of my learning process.

When I began in the Truth in Society Aquinas Program, I thought I was in way over my head. However, I did not once consider backing out on my decision to be in the program. I knew that although it was a whole new experience for me a lot of good would come out of it. It is truly amazing how much one can learn and discover in a small time frame. I, for the most part, consider myself to be a well rounded person and I am accepting and open to new views, thoughts, opinions, and so on. Although, I guess coming from a small rural school where most people have similar views and backgrounds it is easy to get sucked into ‘one way’ of thinking. I knew that attending STU would really help me to gain more perspective in many areas – and already it has! Let me explain how . . .

In our groups while working on Prompt #6, I had an ‘aha’ moment while we were engaged in conversation. We were discussing the topic of genocide. This is a topic that I know is controversial, but at the same time needs to be discussed as it is currently taking place in countries such as Sudan and Congo. I was under the impression that most of us in the group had similar thoughts and opinions on the matter. Such as it is an atrocity that needs more attention and the perpetrators of genocide need to be punished for their actions. As I was stating my thoughts on the matter, one of our group members opposed what I was saying by defending the case of the criminals and their reasoning for carrying out these hate crimes. I was taken aback by his comments and to be honest I was ticked that he would say such things. The conversation ended up having a positive conclusion as I had more of an understanding of his view point. However, that conversation allowed me to finally understand that if I say if believe something or if there is a matter that means a lot to me, I must be willing and able to defend my reasoning’s for thinking the way I do. I also came to understand that it is okay to set aside my ways of thinking and think in a new way for a little while. I am not abandoning my opinions or beliefs, but I am allowing myself to be more open to change and gaining new perspectives. Plus, I am a firm believer that you have to know what you don’t believe, in order to know what you do believe.

To be honest, I was both confused and excited with the way our professors have decided to evaluate our work and our progress. I was very sceptical of this at first, mostly because it is unlike anything I am accustomed to. I did not understand where our marks were being generated from and I was worried that this new method of evaluation would result my marks dropping. I know, I know, I worry too easily. However, now that I have been in the program for two weeks, I understand why the professors have chosen to orchestrate the class in the way they have. We aren’t required to digest huge amounts of information and then regurgitate it out on a test. We are required to become diverse thinkers, precise and articulate writers, seekers of unanswered/wrongly answered questions. We need to challenge and defend. This course goes above and beyond the walls of our classroom. This is a program designed to help us become better human beings who are not afraid to ask questions that may sting or to go places that have been left undiscovered.


Overall, I have been very challenged in my ways of thinking and how I support what I say is truth and what I believe. This course has already given me the tools and the confidence to be a more effective communicator, listener, debater and so on. I have more confidence to state what is on my mind because I know that all of us in Truth and Society are in this together- we are becoming a family.